“As you trust in Him”
I’m a fixer. Whenever I encounter a problem, I want to do something to ‘fix’ it.
When my son falls off his bicycle and scrapes his knee I apply a star wars band-aid, hand him a popsicle, and life is better again.
When my husband is exhausted after a busy week, I plan to have peanut butter cup ice cream ready after dinner to lift his spirits and allow him to relax.
Solutions make me happy.
But that’s not always the way life works, is it? Sometimes, there aren’t simple ways of making everything ‘ok.’ Sometimes we don’t get the answers we want. Sometimes we can’t just pull out a popsicle and make the pain go away. Sometimes we can’t just “fix it”.
I hate that.
I’ve found that those are the times, the times when I can’t just ‘fix’ things, when my faith seems to grow the most.
In the months I was pregnant, each week I would carefully pack my hospital bag, drop my kids off at school, and head to the doctor’s office for an appointment to monitor the babies. It was not unusual for the appointments to turn into extended doctor’s visits, because Drew wouldn’t cooperate, or Will’s vitals were weak and needed to be closely watched for a while. The first few times, these visits would throw me into a complete tailspin. My head would race, I would feverishly text Steve asking him to pray, and my heart would fill with anxiety. Eventually however, after everyone had ample time to flip out (namely me), both babies would recover and I would be cleared to go home until the next appointment, usually a few days later.
I was so afraid, wondering if either (or both) of my babies would make it, and I was unbelievably frustrated that there wasn’t anything I could do to ‘fix’ my situation.
That’s when I read a GREAT story about Martha in my bible.
Most everyone has heard the story of Martha being the ‘busy one’ and fixing everything in the kitchen while Mary sat at the feet of Jesus, soaking in every word He said. We talk about how great Mary was, making the ‘main thing the main thing’, and how poor Martha acted, completely missing the fact that she was choosing to pass on an opportunity to sit and savor time with Jesus. (See Luke 10:38-42)
The problem is that I could always relate more to Martha, wishing I was more like Mary but fully empathizing with Martha’s desire to create a welcoming home for her guests. She’s a ‘fixer’ like me, and no matter how hard I try, it seems like I always revert back to my “Martha ways.”
Only a handful of chapters later, though, we get the privilege of seeing Martha redeem herself! She teaches us another valuable lesson and gave me truth that I needed to hold on to.
In John 11: 17-28 we find Martha’s brother, Lazarus has died. By the time Jesus heads their way, Mary is too entrenched in her grief from the loss of her brother to go out to meet him, but in verse 20, Martha “went out to meet [Jesus].” In the dialogue that follows we see that Martha understands that Jesus can do the impossible — He can raise Lazarus from the dead if he so chooses, which is why she ran out to meet him! She hadn’t lost hope because she knew WHO the real hope-giver was! Even if Jesus did not decide to do the seemingly impossible (raising Lazarus from the dead) she knew that just being near Him, seeking truth and comfort from Him, was the best place to be. Score for Martha! She got that even when every ‘earthly solution’ wouldn’t work, running to Jesus was (and is!) still the answer!
For ‘fixers’ like me, it is so easy to get caught up in trying to find the solution to fix the problem, that we forget the ONE who is above our problems.
Mary was so heartbroken by the death of her brother that she became paralyzed by sadness and grief. Instead of running out to meet Jesus when he arrived, allowing Him to provide comfort and peace, she stayed back to continue to mourn. She was so overtaken by her situation, that she forgot all about her Savior.
Jesus longs for us to run to Him with our problems. It doesn’t mean He will handle them like we would (if it would have been up to me, I would have had Jesus show up before Lazarus ever died to heal him from sickness and save everyone from all the pain and anguish of his death), but He promises to be there and provide for our needs through the tough times.
Sometimes he wants to teach us through our circumstances, rather than simply delivering us from them.
Romans 15:13 says “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace AS YOU TRUST IN HIM…”
Notice the verse DOES NOT say you’ll have joy and peace to help you trust in Him. It says “AS you trust in Him.” God wants us to lean into Him through our circumstances, not trying to fix the impossible on our own, but fully trusting and depending that HIS will and HIS timing is best. That’s really tough for a fixer like me to do, but its essential as I wade through this journey of life.
Each time the tests would dip or a baby would seem to struggle, I would immediately stop and affix my mind to the ONE I knew could handle it all. I chose to rest in the promise that He had a bigger plan than me and He was completely in control. Amazingly, and exactly as promised, God carried me through, providing me with an overwhelming spirit of peace and joy each time I left the hospital with both babies still ‘on board’.
When situations seem bleak, or the answers don’t come with an easy ‘fix’, we must run to the ONE who can handle it all. He’s ready to meet us, and He IS the “fix” that is exactly what we need.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28