A Special Bead

The first day of school is always a special day in our home.  I try everything in my power to make the day fun, intentional, and special through all kinds of surprises and special touches added to their lunchboxes, lockers, and even food they put in their mouths.  Last year, however, will be a year I never forget because it was the year I completely blew it….or so I thought.

The night before my babies were heading to Kindergarten I had thought to put out all of the kids clothes, backpacks, new shoes, and lunchboxes.  Everything was perfect, but the morning of I realized that I had completely forgotten to gather the things I needed for the day.  I had crafted every second of my day with an event, various appointments, and several meetings, all with efforts to make the most of my day.  I knew I was leaving and wouldn’t be back home until after I picked up my kids from school, so I frantically ran throughout the house collecting all of the items I needed for errands and appointments, and threw them into the car.  As you can imagine, the first day pictures became rushed and stressful, breakfast wasn’t anything like I had planned, and before we could stop and even take a breath I threw my kids into the car and we raced to school.  As soon as we squealed into the parking lot, I grabbed my twins backpacks and hurried them inside and down the hallway to their classroom.  That’s when Will stopped, dead in his tracks refusing to walk any further.  I was begging him – “PLEASE Will! We need to get to class!  Mommy has to go!” but nothing seemed to work.  He just stood there in silence, and stared at the floor.

That’s when it hit me.  He was nervous, and more than I needed to get to my next appointment, Will needed a Mom that would stop and remind him how special and loved he is.  He needed… me.

We walked to a bench in the hallway, and as we sat down I asked him what was wrong.  With tears in his eyes he looked up at me and told me how much he was going to miss me, and how scared he was to go all day without me. 

My heart sank and as I hugged him, I silently prayed and asked God to give me wisdom to know what to say to him.  Then, I opened up my purse.  I dug through only to find 2 plastic beads leftover from a bracelet that had broken over the summer, and without hardly even thinking, I handed him a bead and told him this was our ‘special bead’.  I promised that he had one and that I had one, and that all day long we would keep them in our pockets.  Then, if ever either of us felt sad we could reach into our pocket and secretly hold the bead, knowing that the other person was probably thinking about us, too.  With tears in his eyes, he nodded and carefully took the bead out of my hand and put it into his pocket.  He hugged me tight, looked up into my eyes and said, “ok, mom.  Now I’m ready.”

Prior to that day I would have told you those beads were completely worthless and held no value.  If I had cleaned out my purse, I probably would have thrown them away, but on that day God used them to impact Will’s heart in a big way, and to teach me a lesson I’ll never forget. 

You see, to me, the beads weren’t worth much, but God used to them to communicate a huge message of hope, of love, and to provide peace when Will needed to feel those things, most.   Someone worded it perfectly when they said, “God’s hand is never limited by what we have in ours.”

Have you ever read about Shamgar in scripture?  You can read about him in Judges 3:31 and in that one verse you see God do something unimaginable.  The bible tells us that Shamgar saved Israel with an oxgoad.  If you’re not familiar with an oxgoad, it’s a tool that farmers would use on their cattle.  Just think about it -- God chose to use an item that I’m certain this probable farmer didn’t think would ever make much of a difference to save all of Israel, and God taught us a huge lesson, too.  Through this story, we learn that we must surrender our lives to allow God to use us in whatever way, however He wants to. 

Simply put, Shamgar used what He had, worked where God had placed Him, and did what he could to obey all God had told him to do.

Oh friend, that is my heart’s cry each and every day.  I desperately want to live palms up, willing to be used by God however, whenever, and with whatever He chooses to use me for.

I have to tell you…my little bead story didn’t end that day in kindergarten.  If I’m honest, I had completely forgotten about the little bead until tonight when Will brought it to me in the kitchen, the night before He begins 1st grade.  He said, “Mom – here’s our special bead for tomorrow.  You can give it to me in the morning so I don’t forget to put it in my pocket for school, but don’t worry – I’ll be thinking of you all day whether you have a bead for your pocket or not.”

That little bead made a forever impact on my little Will, and has made a lasting impression on me, too.

It’s time we….

Use what we have.

Start where God has placed us.

Do what we can.

So what ‘bead’ do you find in your hand, today?